You don’t have to be a Jerk


Many people have the assumption that to be a good leader or manager requires them to be a jerk.  Being abrasive, rude, and snide with people are requirements they envision as being true and legitimate strengths.  They feel if they aren’t a person who demoralizes other people with bullying tactics then they will be viewed as a push over and weak.

People like this feel they will be respected more if they rule with an iron fist.  Often you will witness them being brash and demeaning to their subordinates. They think to be the tallest building in town requires them to tear down all other competing buildings with any height.  This mentality is engrained early on in their career thinking this is the only way it has to be.  They know it feels wrong but do it anyway.  Being a jerk is actually a weakness. This is an insecurity that shows through their faux exterior.


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9 thoughts on “You don’t have to be a Jerk

  1. Thank you for sharing how to believe/think the right way for the best results! ~Zoey

  2. Rajiv says:

    I agree! I was always considered to be a very polite person, however, I must say that in my last organization, I did not manage my stress levels well. As a result, I was – sometimes – rude and obnoxious. This is something that I must confess to my everlasting regret.
    There are times when a person is rude because he/she does not manage stress well. When this becomes a habit, then you have a problem

  3. Reblogged this on Leadership Musings of a Skeptical Positivist and commented:
    This is a wonderful message to always remember!

  4. Sandrine says:

    Agree and I wish more managers would read this article. I am glad that the notion of emotional intelligence in leadership is gaining importance and triggering more reciprocal relationships between managers and reportees. People want to feel that they work “with” someone, and not “for” someone; For that to happen, mutual respect is key.

  5. cherylfoston says:

    Great post! Thank you, also for reading my blog.

  6. cherylfoston says:

    I would like to reblog this post in the very near future.

  7. Shannon Tipton says:

    So true! Some leaders seem to confuse being strong with being a jerk the two are not compatible mindsets and never will be. You make a true statement in that people will root for your failure if you are perceived to be a jerk – and this is regardless of the fact that if the leader fails; the company goals, initiatives or programs will fail with them. Thus creating a truly cancerous business culture. We are all responsible for letting bullies or jerks hijack a business and people within an organization need to step up surgically remove this person or take their talents elsewhere.

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