Personal Attacks

unnamedPersonal attacks usually aren’t personal.  Hurtful actions aren’t about you no matter how personal, planned, or curt they feel. They normally reveal something about the other person. An insecurity they have that can’t help but bleed through to the surface. When an attack occurs know that the attacker is just trying to protect them self. It may be childish and immature, but it’s simply a defense mechanism designed to protect their ego, reputation, way of life, or avoiding change.

The next time someone attacks you, instead of fighting back, ask yourself “What are they trying to protect?” It may just give you the insight you need to solve the situation and keep you happy. And that’s why they call it “Emotional Intelligence” .

The most mature man I know had people verbally attack him, beat him, mock him, and eventually killed him all because they were trying to protect their own ego and authority. The person understood this concept so well, that as he hung their in excruciating pain and about to die said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

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9 thoughts on “Personal Attacks

  1. kathyomange says:

    This so awesome. It’s tough to think about someone as they attack you, but you are right. It helps you get better at managing people.

  2. […] Originally posted on How Leaders Manage: […]

  3. A great tip on dealing with people.Something to think seriously about. I do appreciate your sharing.Thank you!

  4. I’ve been working on this, a lot. My boss and I are really struggling with communication and expectations. I am working on a servants heart, and praying over it daily, because you are right, the attacks aren’t about me, but they are lessons I have to learn from.

  5. Reblogged this on bruceehoffman and commented:
    Great read…

  6. This rings true for me. I was in a meeting in which I received 2 hours of verbal harassment by two managers. I felt physically battered when I came out.They then wrote a report about me in which they described me as behaving in a hostile manner. I couldn’t believe how effectively they had turned it on its head. I had been anxious -Yes. Hostile-no. Even when provoked! Just trying to stand my ground and not agree to something I couldn’t do. The relationship was unequal from the start- two against one. And I received their hostility full on the chin. Fortunately for me a third party read the report and was able to read between the lines and see my side of it. After patient negotiation on all sides, I am still in a job. I am glad of this insight into what may have been going on. Julia

  7. Happens all he time. It is quite an effort to practise this essential behavior when the attack is actually taking place – but, you are right, being mature and seeing the right perspective pays off in the long run.

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