Category Archives: How to Correct Bad Behavior

Personal Development

How Leaders Manage

pong_gameplay

I was surfing the internet a little while ago for vintage video games and came across one of my favorites as a child. The game was called PONG. If you remember the game is set up kind of like tennis or ping pong (hence the name). You control a simple bar considered your paddle on one side of the screen while your opponent has a paddle on the other side. The object is to not let the ball go past your paddle. The more successful you are the larger your paddle becomes. When you make a mistake your paddle decreases in size.

This game is very similar to how personal development works.  When your paddle is small the ball seems to be moving at lightning speed. When your paddle is larger the ball seems to be moving very slowly. In reality the ball speed is always the same.

The world…

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When you stick your head in the sand you expose your butt!

How Leaders Manage

head_in_sand

Some leaders find certain situations too intimidating to take on. They just want to hide and hope the storm blows over. The truly are waiting for things to just work themselves out by themselves. They pretend that if they ignore the problem, it will go away.

Ignoring dangers and threats is a recipe for disaster and this method never ends well. Can you just imagine a gazelle that sticks his head in the sand with a pack of lions creeping around the perimeter? That gazelle is bound to have his rear end chewed.

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6 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence

6 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence

Jacqueline Whitmore

Contributor

Author, Business Etiquette Expert and Founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach

Office Etiquette

Even the greatest leaders lack self-confidence at certain times. Self-confidence is not a static quality; rather, it’s a mindset that takes effort to maintain when the going gets rough. It must be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill. But once you master it, you will be changed for the better.

Here are six effective ways to promote your own self-confidence.

  1. Act the part.

Your body language can instantly demonstrate self-assuredness, or it can scream insecurity. Present yourself in a way that says you are ready to master or take command of any situation. If you look confident and act the part you aspire to reach, you’ll not only feel in control, people will have much more confidence in you as well.

Hold your head high, sit up straight, gently bring your shoulders back to align your spine and look directly at the other person when interacting. Avoid a limp handshake and maintain good eye contact while someone is speaking to you.

  1. Dress the part.

When you look better, you feel better. If you choose clothing and accessories that fit you well, suit your industry and lifestyle, and make you feel good, this will automatically increase your self-esteem. Look like the part you want to play, or in other words, suit up for success. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine in your accessories. Bold jewelry or a colorful tie can be a focal point and a good conversation starter.

  1. Speak assertively.

The next time you listen to your favorite speaker, be mindful of the way he or she delivers a speech. A great speaker speaks confidently, in a steady, rhythmic tone. Instead of the “ums” and “ahs” that interrupt flow, they use pauses to emphasize ideas.

Adopt an assertive, but not aggressive, way of speaking that indicates your self-confidence. You will feel your self-esteem begin to rise. To be taken seriously, avoid high-pitched, nervous chatter or twittering giggles in your speech. People will listen to you more attentively when they see the leader radiate from within you.

  1. Think and act positively.

Positive energy leads to positive outcomes, so set your mind to the can-do side of any situation, avoiding the negative self-talk that can make you feel less confident. Smile, laugh and surround yourself with happy, positive people. You’ll feel better and the people with whom you work will enjoy your company.

Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the high points of your day and your accomplishments. You will develop more peace and confidence when you are in a grateful state of mind.

  1. Take action.

There’s more to being confident than just how you look. You must act the part. Walk up to a stranger at a networking event, or accept a project you’d normally reject. Practice being self-confident and soon it will become second nature.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear, while action breeds confidence and courage. As an exercise, jot down your strengths and weaknesses. Most people will tell you to work on your weaknesses, but use what you’ve got and capitalize on your strengths instead. Once you put more energy into your positive traits, your confidence will start to shine through.

  1. Be prepared.

Remember the five P’s: Prior planning prevents poor performance. The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel about your expertise and competency. Preparation will help you avoid getting tripped up by life’s unexpected glitches.

Learn everything you can about your industry, your subject matter, your goals and what drives you towards success. Before you start a task, first imagine how you want to feel once you’ve completed it. Don’t try to accomplish too much at once. Break complex tasks up into small, bite-size, manageable pieces.

As U.S. Army General Creighton Williams Abrams Jr. once said, “When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” If you have patience and perseverance, you are only steps away from a more confident you.

A Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves

How Leaders Manage

two_wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Today, more than ever, you have a multitude of negativity competing for your attention; television showing commercials of how you can’t be happy without their newest products, news media telling about the…

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Searching for “Your Passion” is dumb.

I’m so sick of hearing these so called experts telling people to “find your passion”.   This is unintelligent and causes more harm than good in most cases. It leads the people who don’t hate their jobs into discontent, thinking there is something so much better out there and they go looking for greener pastures. They end up roaming from field to field looking to find there elusive “passion”.

You need to ask yourself, do you need to “find your passion” or just bring passion into what you already do? Passion is nothing more than a high interest level. Finding your passion is like finding happiness. It’s on the inside not the outside.  You decide to be happy. You decide to be passionate. It’s not some secret treasure you have where you have to go on world wide search to find. If you are having a hard time just look for why, how and who you do it for. There’s your passion. What a miserable life it is to depend on external forces to make you happy or passionate.

How to Deal with Arrogant People

How Leaders Manage

Arrogance

Ever been to a stuffy party on the good side of town and you can almost cut the pretentiousness with a knife because it’s so thick? One person is trying to one up the other.  No one is really listening to the other ramble on and on; they are just waiting for a break in the conversation so they can do their part of pompous bragging.

A party is bad enough but you can leave the party. What if you have to work with these people? You better learn how to diffuse these people’s attitudes and put them in check or they will poison the entire organization fast.

A good leader wants self-confident people but not arrogant and you must know the difference between the two.  Self-confidence is required for any kind of success in any part of life.  Self-confident people will just roll their eyes at arrogant people.

Here’s…

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It’ll Run Without Gas…… But Not Oil

How Leaders Manage

blowing-leaves

An old ATV rumbles to a stop in front of the house on a Sunday afternoon.  An older man swings his leg over the machine and hops off the seat and heads toward the house with the zest of a person in his early thirties and walks up to the front door.  He gives a slight polite knock and he turns the knob and announces his arrival by saying “knock knock.”

“Hey Dad.”

“Hey,” the old man says matter-of-factly. “Is my granddaughter here?”

“Well yeah”, the son laughs. “Where else would she be?”

About that time a bright eyed dark haired beauty scampers down the hallway. “PAWPAW!!!” she screams as she runs toward him with one sock already off and the other flopping from the end of her tiny three year old foot.  She runs as him full speed and locks her arms around the neck of her now kneeling…

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Pray don’t Pout

traxtor

As a young man pulls in his long driveway from a long day at the office his grandfather notices his SUV pulling in from the old rusted tractor he is using to bushhog the apple orchard. The old man throws his arm it the air to wave at his grandson enthusiastically. The young man sees the greeting from the well know man in faded overalls. He says to himself, “I’m starting to get the feeling that moving my family in next door to my grandparents wasn’t such a good idea. He always comes at the worst possible time.” Acknowledging his grandfather he looks over his shoulder and raises a finger and a half no higher than the top of his head.

A few minutes later while sitting on his leather recliner he hears the old tractor stop in the middle of his new driveway and slowly shut off. A few moments later he hears a light tapping on the door.

After a deep breathe, “Come in.”

The old man steps in and takes off the old trucker hat he probably got at the feed store and holds it at his waist.  “Everything okay with you son?”

“That obvious huh?”

“Work got you down?” the old timer replied

” ……… Work, the people at work, the people at home, you name it.  It seems like every time I turn around someone is taking a shot at me. I think I’ve earned more respect than that. I have a good mind to go in the office tomorrow and let them know what I really think of them. Oh and then not to mention my in-laws. I have a good mind to skip the holidays all together.”  ranted the obviously frustrated young man.

The old man just stared at his grandson until the invisible tension was so much that he looked up and made eye contact, “That don’t sound like a good mind to me. Listen son. I’m gonna tell you what your grandmother taught me an if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a hundred times.  Pray don’t pout.  I’ve seen a lot of good Christians hold grudges against coworkers, fellow church members, and relatives and it ruins em. Let me tell you, when you become mature enough in your own head to pray instead of pout, that’s when you have a good mind. You see your emotions follow your thoughts not your circumstances.”  The old man turned around, put on his hat and walked out.